Mischief Managed (what the Glob)

joshpeck:

cursedmistakes:

carpe-hana:

#this is it this is american television

that all happened in under 2 minutes

this is honestly a spiritual experience

its-hipster-alpaca:

My self confidence is either What A Catch Donnie or I Don’t Care. There is no in between.

me: you'll regret staying up this late
me: i know
me the next morning: i regret staying up that late
me that night: let's do it again

joshpeck:

cursedmistakes:

carpe-hana:

#this is it this is american television

that all happened in under 2 minutes

this is honestly a spiritual experience

Omg yes please these are fab
1. Did you wake up cranky?
2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?
3. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?
4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?
5. Can you commit to one person?
6. How do you look right now?
7. What exactly are you wearing right now?
8. How often do you listen to music?
9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?
10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2014?
11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?
12. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?
13. Are you good at hiding your feelings?
14. Can you drive a stick shift?
15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?
16. Are you going out of town soon?
17. When was the last time you cried?
18. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?
19. If you could change your eye color, would you?
20. Name something you have to do tomorrow?
21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.
22. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?
23. Are you nice to everyone?
24. What are you sitting on right now?
25. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?
26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?
27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?
28. Do you get a lot of colds?
29. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?
30. Does anyone hate you?
31. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
32. Do you like watching scary movies?
33. Are you a jealous person?
34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?
35. Did you have a dream last night?
36. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?
37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?
38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?
39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
40. Did you have a good day yesterday?
41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?
42. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?
43. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?
44. What’s the best part about school?
45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?
46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?
47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?
48. Were you single over the last summer?
49. What are you supposed to be doing right now?
50. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

askclint:

roman-rory-fallen-angel:

mishakaleins:

When they make a black widow movie, the trailer needs to be all mysterious and the song playing needs to be Scarlett Johansson singing a lullaby cover of the itsy bitsy spider

I need this in my life

That sounds fucking terrifying.

ignite-mylove-ignite:

ligerscout:

ligerscout:

Ready for April fools day
Gonna take it to school and eat it

I ate 3/4 of the jar and I made 3 teachers gag and one friend get angry at me.

fuck bro, I thought you were gunna fill all those cups with mayonnaise and hand them out at school and some serious shit was gunna go down

nevver:

Fighting fishes, Visarute Angkatavanich

Did you kill your wife, Nick?

communismkills:

trueemergence:

omg damn

IS THIS REAL.

My mother tells me
that when I meet someone I like,
I have to ask them three questions:

1. what are you afraid of?
2. do you like dogs?
3. what do you do when it rains?

of those three, she says the first one is the most important.
“They gotta be scared of something, baby. Everybody is. If they aren’t afraid of anything, then they don’t believe in anything, either.”

I met you on a Sunday, right
after church.
one look and my heart fell into
my stomach like a trap door.

on our second date,
I asked you what you were afraid of.
“spiders, mostly. being alone. little children, like, the ones who just learned how to push a kid over on the playground. oh and space. holy shit, space.”
I asked you if you liked dogs.
“I have three.”
I asked you what you do when it rains.
“sleep, mostly. sometimes I sit at the window and watch the rain droplets race. I make a shelter out of plastic in my backyard for all the stray animals; leave them food and a place to sleep.”

he smiled like he knew.
like his mom told him the same
thing.
“how about you?”

me?
I’m scared of everything.
of the hole in the o-zone layer,
of the lady next door who never
smiles at her dog,
and especially of all the secrets
the government must be breaking
it’s back trying to keep from us.
I love dogs so much, you have no idea.
I sleep when it rains.
I want to tell everyone I love them.
I want to find every stray animal and bring them home.
I want to wake up in your hair
and make you shitty coffee
and kiss your neck
and draw silly stick figures of us.
I never want to ask anyone else
these questions
ever again.

three questions | Caitlyn Siehl (via alonesomes)

brinepools:

reasons I can relate to a possum:

-tired & unkempt, smells weird
-emotions ranging from “displeased” to “existential scream”
-no work ethic
-lies around looking dead when overwhelmed
-will eat trash & live amongst trash if left to own devices
-sometimes you feel bad and feed it a sandwich

exvind:

scribblingbearcat:

kammartinez:

Author John Scalzi was on a roll this morning (currently 7:14 AM, 26 Sept. 2014) with a tweet he found from some guy sending out an “ultimatum” to women to “make a choice” between feminism and, well, men like him. So Scalzi launched into a truly magnificent set of scorchers, which I’m posting here for the delectation of people everywhere.

Also: I would like to thank that guy for setting the ultimatum. It makes finding a boyfriend so much easier when the undesirable ones wear a placard identifying themselves.

DAMN SON

There is no problem that sass cannot solve